20090507
Rain Rain (a poem)
locksmith business cards float in a technicolor stream
down the street gutter and in into the corner grate
like watching the city's asshole from the inside looking out
20090503
On Mash-Ups
there may be no other phenomena in Popular Culture that more perfectly embodies the Post-Modern World than the Mash-Up. Forgive me for my geezer-sounding-nostalgia, but "Today's world" is more schizophrenic, disjointed and fragmented than any previous generation--and if history is any precedent (it usually repeats itself, but sometimes it doesn't), future generations will continue this trend of fragmentation ad nauseum, with serious repercussions for original thought.
Let me explain:
This is of course a composed mashup, one that is imagined through the lens of an individual (here, myself). However, the mashup is present in our daily routines. Imagine an average not so interesting day:
wake to alarm: NPR story about Native American reservations where women are gang raped and beaten (i wonder, why not beaten and raped? seems like that would be the chronological way to go about it) by the men of a certain tribe (you don't hear where, only that she is found hospitalized by a girlfriend who noticed her missing)
maybe you shower: nothing worth noting, other than your pastie-colorless-ass and the veins you can see through your nearly transparent skin which hasn't seen the sun since you were 12 years old (the last time it was cool to play outside)
a quick check of the e-mail: Facebook comment, REI Gearmail, Bank of America statement, Archinect, Storefront, Kurzweil AI, Yahoo Sports, 3rd Ward, order-update_at_amazon.com, Urban Daddy and your Daily Dilbert
off to work: zoom--cars flash by on the way to the subway steps...five or six seconds of a M.I.A. song booms right before you get your earbuds in and hit play.
Flight of the Conchords Season 1 soundtrack
sounds of the train
flashes of ads on the subway walls. most have been razor-ed out and repasted back onto something else: new CSI-like series has a Sketcher's shoe masking a woman's face and a circus elephant donning a Hitler moustache and a drawn-on penis covorting with Beyonce.
someone gets on the train with a stereo blaring some indecernable new/hot Club-Rap song that overpowers the headphones that are already blaring 112 dB sounds directly onto your eardrums
more ads: Housewives of NYC but all the heads are gone. one is replaced with a piece of a Manhattan Mini-Storage ad next to it (neither logical nor graphically appealing)
a new television show called "Cougar" where 20-something men compete for a single botox-infused and heavily air-brushed 40-something...(you wonder if this is serious or a gag...its for real)
you find the missing Housewives heads stuck on a Lung Cancer ad
out of the tube: grab an egg sandwich at a bodega before work--horrible Adult Contemporary Soft Rock (not ever ironically bad, just terrible) and you have to remove your headphones to place your order and for common courtesy (you don't know why, it just feels right--like cellphones at a cash register)
into work: more music...Pandora Radio seems to be all over the place today. can't they just play something good and not repeat the live version of Once In A Lifetime every hour? and please just keep anything from The Bends from showing up on ALL MY STATIONS! If Creep comes on my Elton John Radio one more time, its over.
Lunch: Spanish Soap Operas as you wait for some veggie tacos. you are convinced you could learn Spanish from an afternoon of watching this. You consider it. But your tacos are ready.
Lunch at desk: New York Times, Washington Post, New York Magazine, Craigslist, ArchDaily, Brownstoner, LinkedIn, Facebook, eHow, FreeNYC, Yahoo Fantasy Baseball (you are terrible), DrawerB, Treehugger, Pitchfork, Pruned, Polar Inertia, Exploding Dog, Bustler and Design Crack
you pick up The Onion, skip to The Hater and skim the rest. (an interview with Will Arnett? Really? c'mon...)
Working: CAD...phone call...e-mail...phone call...phone call...coffee break...e-mail...G-chat...e-mail...spreadsheet...G-chat...e-mail...potty break...e-mail...CAD CAD CAD CAD CAD CAD...e-mail...G-chat...
its dark: go home...
(now, in reverse)
earbuds
subway platform musician (this is called something, but i forget: boojering? somethin...)
out--zoom, M.I.A., door slam (bang) steps up keys jingle earbuds out into room play on stereo
Dinner
Check e-mail again. get distracted with NY Times story about something insignificant.
Movie or book
sleep again.
OK! so you get it. a boring day yet sensory overload...this is Post-Modern at its best and also worst. Everything you ever wanted always, but not quite how you remember them. Its like having your cake and eating it too, but the cake is dry and mostly corn-based (and the frosting is entirely corn-products).
its there, its yours, but its not great...not like grandma's
and so goes the day in the life: a continual mashup of mashups, there and gone before you knew what it was...before you could form an opinion...before you even knew what was going on--you were already a part of a bigger cycling mashup of mashups mashed up into a cosmic mashup, fullfilling a mashing mash masher mash up your mash.
then you decide to blog about it...
Let me explain:
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Mashup may refer to:
- Mashup (digital), a digital media file containing any or all of text, graphics, audio, video, and animation, which recombines and modifies existing digital works to create a derivative work.
- Mashup (music), the musical genre encompassing songs which consist entirely of parts of other songs
- Mashup (video), a video that is edited from more than one source to appear as one
- Mashup (web application hybrid), a web application that combines data and/or functionality from more than one source
This is of course a composed mashup, one that is imagined through the lens of an individual (here, myself). However, the mashup is present in our daily routines. Imagine an average not so interesting day:
wake to alarm: NPR story about Native American reservations where women are gang raped and beaten (i wonder, why not beaten and raped? seems like that would be the chronological way to go about it) by the men of a certain tribe (you don't hear where, only that she is found hospitalized by a girlfriend who noticed her missing)
maybe you shower: nothing worth noting, other than your pastie-colorless-ass and the veins you can see through your nearly transparent skin which hasn't seen the sun since you were 12 years old (the last time it was cool to play outside)
a quick check of the e-mail: Facebook comment, REI Gearmail, Bank of America statement, Archinect, Storefront, Kurzweil AI, Yahoo Sports, 3rd Ward, order-update_at_amazon.com, Urban Daddy and your Daily Dilbert
off to work: zoom--cars flash by on the way to the subway steps...five or six seconds of a M.I.A. song booms right before you get your earbuds in and hit play.
Flight of the Conchords Season 1 soundtrack
sounds of the train
flashes of ads on the subway walls. most have been razor-ed out and repasted back onto something else: new CSI-like series has a Sketcher's shoe masking a woman's face and a circus elephant donning a Hitler moustache and a drawn-on penis covorting with Beyonce.
someone gets on the train with a stereo blaring some indecernable new/hot Club-Rap song that overpowers the headphones that are already blaring 112 dB sounds directly onto your eardrums
more ads: Housewives of NYC but all the heads are gone. one is replaced with a piece of a Manhattan Mini-Storage ad next to it (neither logical nor graphically appealing)
a new television show called "Cougar" where 20-something men compete for a single botox-infused and heavily air-brushed 40-something...(you wonder if this is serious or a gag...its for real)
you find the missing Housewives heads stuck on a Lung Cancer ad
out of the tube: grab an egg sandwich at a bodega before work--horrible Adult Contemporary Soft Rock (not ever ironically bad, just terrible) and you have to remove your headphones to place your order and for common courtesy (you don't know why, it just feels right--like cellphones at a cash register)
into work: more music...Pandora Radio seems to be all over the place today. can't they just play something good and not repeat the live version of Once In A Lifetime every hour? and please just keep anything from The Bends from showing up on ALL MY STATIONS! If Creep comes on my Elton John Radio one more time, its over.
Lunch: Spanish Soap Operas as you wait for some veggie tacos. you are convinced you could learn Spanish from an afternoon of watching this. You consider it. But your tacos are ready.
Lunch at desk: New York Times, Washington Post, New York Magazine, Craigslist, ArchDaily, Brownstoner, LinkedIn, Facebook, eHow, FreeNYC, Yahoo Fantasy Baseball (you are terrible), DrawerB, Treehugger, Pitchfork, Pruned, Polar Inertia, Exploding Dog, Bustler and Design Crack
you pick up The Onion, skip to The Hater and skim the rest. (an interview with Will Arnett? Really? c'mon...)
Working: CAD...phone call...e-mail...phone call...phone call...coffee break...e-mail...G-chat...e-mail...spreadsheet...G-chat...e-mail...potty break...e-mail...CAD CAD CAD CAD CAD CAD...e-mail...G-chat...
its dark: go home...
(now, in reverse)
earbuds
subway platform musician (this is called something, but i forget: boojering? somethin...)
out--zoom, M.I.A., door slam (bang) steps up keys jingle earbuds out into room play on stereo
Dinner
Check e-mail again. get distracted with NY Times story about something insignificant.
Movie or book
sleep again.
OK! so you get it. a boring day yet sensory overload...this is Post-Modern at its best and also worst. Everything you ever wanted always, but not quite how you remember them. Its like having your cake and eating it too, but the cake is dry and mostly corn-based (and the frosting is entirely corn-products).
its there, its yours, but its not great...not like grandma's
and so goes the day in the life: a continual mashup of mashups, there and gone before you knew what it was...before you could form an opinion...before you even knew what was going on--you were already a part of a bigger cycling mashup of mashups mashed up into a cosmic mashup, fullfilling a mashing mash masher mash up your mash.
then you decide to blog about it...
20090425
20090405
THE DOWNFALL (BY SPORTSTRADAMUS)
having seen my share of stadiums across the country, there is something cool about those under-appreciated 60s/70s era stadiums (RFK, Riverfront, Arrowhead, Busch, HHH Metrodome, Oakland Coliseum etc. etc. etc.). they have finally aged to the point where they are interesting and have history. these new parks that are replacing them will too age, and when they do, the silly-pseudo-attractions will look like the Pirates of the Caribbean at DisneyWorld...we'll look back and say "remember when we thought THAT was the SHIT! damn...we were stupid"
also see, the downfall of watching baseball on TV: i don't know whether i'm watching a sport or headline news. in order to increase fan-base MLB and the other Major 4 bombard the viewer with information so as to attract the "short-attention-span" viewers who have trouble relaxing and watching the game (i.e. the people who think baseball is boring)
i wouldn't be surprised to see:
- a stadium feature where you can play side-games between other people at the game using your iPhone or Blackberry: how many people think so and so should shave his moustache (results posted on Jumbotron)
- stadiums actually playing another game's highlights on a jumbotron or on your PDA
- using your PDA to order food/beer from vendors--just enter your seat/section and order. also could have Outback Steakhouse or Wendy's food rather than the trad. sporting grub (if only the beer selection would improve)
- having other "events" actually at a game, playing on the Running Sausages and Racing Presidents but with actual betting involved (see greyhound racing)
- having online Texas Holdem available in the back of the seat in front of you so you can get your Flop and River on during pitching changes and between innings
- short sitcom-like shows that play on the jumbotron during said game "down-time" (usually where you check your personal scorecard against your neighbors to make sure they actually scored that misplay as an E and not an Infield Single). these shows could be extensions of the shows you already know, like Lost or Who Wants to Be a Millionare (is that still around outside of India?)
...anything else to make baseball more "interesting"...read: less like baseball
and remember when we thought it was cool to see a Brewer slide into a pool of man-eating piranhas?
also see, the downfall of watching baseball on TV: i don't know whether i'm watching a sport or headline news. in order to increase fan-base MLB and the other Major 4 bombard the viewer with information so as to attract the "short-attention-span" viewers who have trouble relaxing and watching the game (i.e. the people who think baseball is boring)
i wouldn't be surprised to see:
- a stadium feature where you can play side-games between other people at the game using your iPhone or Blackberry: how many people think so and so should shave his moustache (results posted on Jumbotron)
- stadiums actually playing another game's highlights on a jumbotron or on your PDA
- using your PDA to order food/beer from vendors--just enter your seat/section and order. also could have Outback Steakhouse or Wendy's food rather than the trad. sporting grub (if only the beer selection would improve)
- having other "events" actually at a game, playing on the Running Sausages and Racing Presidents but with actual betting involved (see greyhound racing)
- having online Texas Holdem available in the back of the seat in front of you so you can get your Flop and River on during pitching changes and between innings
- short sitcom-like shows that play on the jumbotron during said game "down-time" (usually where you check your personal scorecard against your neighbors to make sure they actually scored that misplay as an E and not an Infield Single). these shows could be extensions of the shows you already know, like Lost or Who Wants to Be a Millionare (is that still around outside of India?)
...anything else to make baseball more "interesting"...read: less like baseball
and remember when we thought it was cool to see a Brewer slide into a pool of man-eating piranhas?
20090404
Wild Wild Life
I have no time for anything substantive, so I'm re-posting something that i found that made considerable impact on me:
"In situationist texts, a Dérive is an attempt at analysis of the totality of everyday life, through the passive movement through space. It is translated as drift."
A dérive is "the exploration of a built environment without preconceptions, to refuse to limit legitimate discussion to architectural styles or residential percentages, but to discuss the reality of actually inhabiting the environment"
from Wikipedia
also of considerable interest: Urban Alteration Game
"The point of the game is to carry out certain actions in the urban surroundings. The actions are a way for the player to interact with, understand and alter their surroundings. The different actions are to be found on the strategy tool supplied with the game. There are several different strategy tools and the intention is that there will be new strategies being added to the gameplay by its players.
As this is an art project it has also been important to document the result of the gameplay. When a strategy has been carried out and an alteration has been made to an urban enviroment [sic], it should be documented and shared with others. Some of the strategies are impossible to carry through in a physical way which calls upon the player to use his or her imagination and creativity. If it is not possible to carry out the chosen strategy in a physical way or on the actual site it should be done in any other way, for example through using photography, painting or video to record and alter the surroundings. "
I've been doing that for years...never thought of it as a game.
Never thought of myself as a situationist, but it makes sense now.
"In situationist texts, a Dérive is an attempt at analysis of the totality of everyday life, through the passive movement through space. It is translated as drift."
A dérive is "the exploration of a built environment without preconceptions, to refuse to limit legitimate discussion to architectural styles or residential percentages, but to discuss the reality of actually inhabiting the environment"
from Wikipedia
also of considerable interest: Urban Alteration Game
"The point of the game is to carry out certain actions in the urban surroundings. The actions are a way for the player to interact with, understand and alter their surroundings. The different actions are to be found on the strategy tool supplied with the game. There are several different strategy tools and the intention is that there will be new strategies being added to the gameplay by its players.
As this is an art project it has also been important to document the result of the gameplay. When a strategy has been carried out and an alteration has been made to an urban enviroment [sic], it should be documented and shared with others. Some of the strategies are impossible to carry through in a physical way which calls upon the player to use his or her imagination and creativity. If it is not possible to carry out the chosen strategy in a physical way or on the actual site it should be done in any other way, for example through using photography, painting or video to record and alter the surroundings. "
I've been doing that for years...never thought of it as a game.
Never thought of myself as a situationist, but it makes sense now.
20090118
Sorry Cleveland, Pennsylvania Rocks
this year will be looked upon as one of the best sports years ever....for Pennsylvania. the previous reigning geographic area of sports domination, Boston, seems to be holding on to at least their basketball glory, however, the state of Pennsylvania has reached new plateaus of greatness (and almost greatness). let me elaborate.
with the AFC and NFC championships on the horizon, we see the likely contenders from Pittsburgh and the not-so-likely contenders from Philadelphia both a game away from the Super Bowl. this means that the odds for a PA team to win the Big Bowl is 50%. if both the Steelers and the Eagles win today, that number is 100%.
recently, Penn State saw a better than expected season take them to the top 5 in the Coaches and AP polls, a Big 10 championship and a trip to sunny Pasadena. so what if they got spanked by the home team Trojans. with Joe Pa still around and kicking (sort of), you haven't much time left before you are back to the ever-smaller bucket searching for a new Head. Plus you beat OH outright.
of course, the Phillies succeeded in bringing champ-status back to champ-starved Philly for the first time in my life. their success, however, kept this post from a "Pennsylvania, so-close but so far away" tone.
that would be due to the Pittsburgh Penguins march to the Stanley Cup Finals last year, only to be rolled over by the RedWings. Congrats for getting that far, at least. Having any extension of the regular season is a big bonus for the team and the region, both in money and morale.
and speaking of morale, Pittsburgh is the only city to have all (3) major sports teams all with the same colors. Smart thinking. You can wear your Steelers garb to a Pirates or Penguins game and still match the rest of those hideous people sitting next to you. Frugal, yet patriotic; this is Pittsburgh.
not to mention the swing-state status in the biggest race of 2008, (double bonus: voting for the winner) this has been an amazing year in Pennsylvania. word of advice: quit now, while you are still ahead.
with the AFC and NFC championships on the horizon, we see the likely contenders from Pittsburgh and the not-so-likely contenders from Philadelphia both a game away from the Super Bowl. this means that the odds for a PA team to win the Big Bowl is 50%. if both the Steelers and the Eagles win today, that number is 100%.
recently, Penn State saw a better than expected season take them to the top 5 in the Coaches and AP polls, a Big 10 championship and a trip to sunny Pasadena. so what if they got spanked by the home team Trojans. with Joe Pa still around and kicking (sort of), you haven't much time left before you are back to the ever-smaller bucket searching for a new Head. Plus you beat OH outright.
of course, the Phillies succeeded in bringing champ-status back to champ-starved Philly for the first time in my life. their success, however, kept this post from a "Pennsylvania, so-close but so far away" tone.
that would be due to the Pittsburgh Penguins march to the Stanley Cup Finals last year, only to be rolled over by the RedWings. Congrats for getting that far, at least. Having any extension of the regular season is a big bonus for the team and the region, both in money and morale.
and speaking of morale, Pittsburgh is the only city to have all (3) major sports teams all with the same colors. Smart thinking. You can wear your Steelers garb to a Pirates or Penguins game and still match the rest of those hideous people sitting next to you. Frugal, yet patriotic; this is Pittsburgh.
not to mention the swing-state status in the biggest race of 2008, (double bonus: voting for the winner) this has been an amazing year in Pennsylvania. word of advice: quit now, while you are still ahead.
Save the Sea Kittens?
what is the deal with PETA? well,i know that is not a question that may ever be fully resolved, but in this case--its worth investigating.
recently, PETA launches the Save the Sea Kittens web-campaign, which includes what seems like fish dressed as kittens, with the apparent reason being that no one would hurt a kitten ergo we will be tricked into not eating fish (especially caviar...hence the 'kittens'). not that i am for caviar, but do these uppity PETA folks really think that dressing Flash animation fish up as kittens will get to the soft and sensitive emotions of the Upper East Side caviar-crowd? right, because not only do they spend time hunting around the internet for stupid shit (like people I know) but they will be easily fooled by lipstick on the fish, just as the Tasmanian Devil was fooled into love with Bugs Bunny dressed as a Tasmanian She-Devil.
Word of advice PETA: Greenpeace is having a hard enough time trying to get our garbage out of the oceans, why would you encourage dressing fish up with, say, Punk-Rock Jackets, Business Suits, Balls of Yarn, a Water Bowl (underwater?) or, in one of the strangest breaches of biological common-sense, a Litter Box...for a FISH. And since when does PETA support cat litter? or Business Suits?
so i have made my own fish, which i believe represents a more accurate depiction of a real problem...Trash in the Waterways & Oceans
so meet "Trashy", who breaks time-honored the rule: if you put lipstick on a fish, it is NOT still a fish
recently, PETA launches the Save the Sea Kittens web-campaign, which includes what seems like fish dressed as kittens, with the apparent reason being that no one would hurt a kitten ergo we will be tricked into not eating fish (especially caviar...hence the 'kittens'). not that i am for caviar, but do these uppity PETA folks really think that dressing Flash animation fish up as kittens will get to the soft and sensitive emotions of the Upper East Side caviar-crowd? right, because not only do they spend time hunting around the internet for stupid shit (like people I know) but they will be easily fooled by lipstick on the fish, just as the Tasmanian Devil was fooled into love with Bugs Bunny dressed as a Tasmanian She-Devil.
Word of advice PETA: Greenpeace is having a hard enough time trying to get our garbage out of the oceans, why would you encourage dressing fish up with, say, Punk-Rock Jackets, Business Suits, Balls of Yarn, a Water Bowl (underwater?) or, in one of the strangest breaches of biological common-sense, a Litter Box...for a FISH. And since when does PETA support cat litter? or Business Suits?
so i have made my own fish, which i believe represents a more accurate depiction of a real problem...Trash in the Waterways & Oceans
so meet "Trashy", who breaks time-honored the rule: if you put lipstick on a fish, it is NOT still a fish
20090103
2k8: a year in review
this is the time of year when all the "best" and "worst" and "memorable" lists replay the events of the past year, and well...why not throw more shit on the poo-fire. this will be the least comprehensive and certainly most arbitrary list you may stumble across in this Season of Recollection, but anyone reading this blog should know much about arbitration at this point.
Favorite Novel i read this year: God Bless John Wayne - Kinky Friedman
Favorite Non-fiction i read this year: 1491 New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus
Favorite Music download of the year: Mike Waxx MF Doom mixtape
Favorite Music album that came out this year: LP3 - Ratatat (apologies to Radio Retaliation - Thievery Corporation)
Favorite Album i got not from this year: The Craft - Blackalicious (apologies to Danger Doom)
Favorite coffee in Brooklyn: Gimme Coffee
Biggest disappointment in sports: New Orleans Saints
Biggest disappointment in music: (tie) the new Kings of Leon album Only By The Night and the new My Morning Jacket album Evil Urges
Biggest disappointment in popular culture: Seth Rogan is still around
Movie that got canned but still has a chance come DVD release: Choke
Movie with no fucking chance: Rambo
Really great work from British people: Son of Rambow
Biggest tard: Sean Penn
Largest inconvenience: French onion soup made with beef broth
Most overrated: SEC
Most underrated: College football in the rocky mountains
US Rep. with the funniest voice: Barney Frank (MA)
Best political impersonation: Tine Fey as Sarah Palin
Strange things from Right-Wing Nut Jobs: a woman who once sported an eye patch attacks First-Lady-Elect regarding fashion; playing victim card
Proof that you vote really does count: at press time, Al Franken is up by a mere 50 votes in the Minnesota Senate seat recount
Proof that DC is more like minded than Wyoming: 93% voted Obama in DC, only 65% voted McCain in Wyoming (both have 3 electoral votes)
Weirdest thing to happen other than the Patriots losing the Super Bowl: (tie) Aiko the Femme-bot and the Face Transplant
Person my age i wish would just go away (and not from jealousy): Britney Spears
Person my age who makes me look like a lazy-ass: (tie) Dwayne Wade and Danica Patrick
Biggest dumbass: Eliot Spitzer
Most amazing collapse: New York teams ending in -E-T-S
Favorite new bar: Rustik
Favorite new restaurant: Cafe Tapeo
--in short, 2008 was a unique year for us, splitting our time between DC and NY. the sport of the year looked to be kickball, but quickly became flippy-cup with rooftop cornhole a close second.
that's all for now. the new year should begin in March instead of January.
Favorite Novel i read this year: God Bless John Wayne - Kinky Friedman
Favorite Non-fiction i read this year: 1491 New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus
Favorite Music download of the year: Mike Waxx MF Doom mixtape
Favorite Music album that came out this year: LP3 - Ratatat (apologies to Radio Retaliation - Thievery Corporation)
Favorite Album i got not from this year: The Craft - Blackalicious (apologies to Danger Doom)
Favorite coffee in Brooklyn: Gimme Coffee
Biggest disappointment in sports: New Orleans Saints
Biggest disappointment in music: (tie) the new Kings of Leon album Only By The Night and the new My Morning Jacket album Evil Urges
Biggest disappointment in popular culture: Seth Rogan is still around
Movie that got canned but still has a chance come DVD release: Choke
Movie with no fucking chance: Rambo
Really great work from British people: Son of Rambow
Biggest tard: Sean Penn
Largest inconvenience: French onion soup made with beef broth
Most overrated: SEC
Most underrated: College football in the rocky mountains
US Rep. with the funniest voice: Barney Frank (MA)
Best political impersonation: Tine Fey as Sarah Palin
Strange things from Right-Wing Nut Jobs: a woman who once sported an eye patch attacks First-Lady-Elect regarding fashion; playing victim card
Proof that you vote really does count: at press time, Al Franken is up by a mere 50 votes in the Minnesota Senate seat recount
Proof that DC is more like minded than Wyoming: 93% voted Obama in DC, only 65% voted McCain in Wyoming (both have 3 electoral votes)
Weirdest thing to happen other than the Patriots losing the Super Bowl: (tie) Aiko the Femme-bot and the Face Transplant
Person my age i wish would just go away (and not from jealousy): Britney Spears
Person my age who makes me look like a lazy-ass: (tie) Dwayne Wade and Danica Patrick
Biggest dumbass: Eliot Spitzer
Most amazing collapse: New York teams ending in -E-T-S
Favorite new bar: Rustik
Favorite new restaurant: Cafe Tapeo
--in short, 2008 was a unique year for us, splitting our time between DC and NY. the sport of the year looked to be kickball, but quickly became flippy-cup with rooftop cornhole a close second.
that's all for now. the new year should begin in March instead of January.
20081212
20081122
Old News: Robert Dimery's 1001 Album List Sucks
the list is here...and well, has been for a couple years. i get to these things when i can okay? i have limited time and resources and i've frankly had my mind on more important lists that are exhaustive, competent and without glaring omissions.
Before i start, i should say, these need to be Game Changing albums. never existed before and will continue to be the benchmark by which subsequent albums are judged. Like the first 5 Led Zeppelin's, Dr. Dre's The Chronic, Black Sabbath's self-titled, Aqualung, Metallica's Master of Puppets and The Beach Boy's Pet Sounds.
Now-my turn:
#1 There is no Philip Glass at any point in the list. Not one. Are you telling me Mr Dimery that the most important modern composer in our century is not something that needs to be heard AT ALL before you perish?
#2 Purple - Stone Temple Pilots. It should be noted that on your list, i need to hear four (4) Deep Purple Albums, but not the sonic masterpiece that is STP's second album? Four fucking Deep Purple albums in entirety before i die?!? Moreover, there is not a single STP album listed, where i would argue there is one definite (Purple) and another (Tiny Music from the Vatican Gift Shop) should also have serious consideration.
#3 Its called A Go Go and its by John Scofield. GLARING OMISSION. not only a must hear, but a must have for anyone. period. this album will bring peace to the middle east if used properly. has the potential to disarm nuclear timebombs with the amazing talent of the premiere jazz guitarist of the past 35 years backed by the revolutionary jazz-fusion trio of Medeski Martin and Wood? this album omitted from an "exhaustive" list of music discredits both the editor, their families and anyone who has ever loved them.
#4 There is no need to hear two (2) Dexy's Midnight Runner's albums. Come ON Eileen!! Where did you get this shit Mr. Dimery?
#5 Blacklisted - Neko Case
#6 All the 2000s work is a little bandwagony. Three from The White Stripes, but Get Behind Me Satan has hardly proved itself as classic, revolutionary nor game-changing. Several OutKast albums, but not any of them that mattered most to making them great; Want One and Want Two by Rufus Wainright, not Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk? Beck but only Sea Change and Guero? I guess if you haven't been paying attention to these artists for their whole career, you missed out on the things that made them great in the first place. The immediate popularity does not equate to long-term classic status.
For instance, i agree with Ms. Spears' ...One More Time being placed on the list. whether it is your cup of tea or not, it was a definite game changer. the pop world was NOT the same afterward and it DID become the measuring stick for subsequent work in that genre. It was not, however, a musical "masterpiece" in the sense that Sea Change is. But Sea Change was only a later career extension of Mellow Gold before it, which was much more original in its time.
#7 It is also worth mentioning, the little odds and ends additions for electronica and rap might as well have been left off. you could have just made a list of popular rock, r&b and pop music to hear before you die. but the slight nods to country and hip hop as a gesture of looking like you know what those genres have to offer...as if you scoured all music and what you came back with was 4 deep purples are as good as one dwight yoakam and "you aren't missing anything over there in those places so just keep thinking that it is all shit"...look, you just make it worse for yourself. when Brittney appears but the Dixie Chicks don't, its not a gesture...its favoritism.
#8 The Roots are one of 5 major influences in hip hop and rap today. That Illidelph Halflife does not appear...well, you should be ashamed. (See above comments for "fan-come-lately" albums)
#9 i don't know why i am numbering
#10 The self-titled debut N*E*R*D (no one ever really dies) absolutely DESTROYS Fly or Die. How could anyone include the later over the former? just really bad...
#11 Two Words: Deltron 3030. the first, best and most amazing hip hop concept album. sci-fi space travel hip hop aliens robots...del and dan the automator? Jesus man, its like you really have no clue for the past 20 years of this list.
#12 Push barman to open old wounds is by and far the best thing Belle and Sebastean have done. and at 2 discs, how can you pass it up?
#13 on and on and on and on....Slick Rick? Salt n Peppa?
and on...so i'm done with this. i should make my own fricking list if i'm so pissed off. maybe i will--and do 101 instead of trying to bite off more than i can eshew eh Bob?
or 11...
Before i start, i should say, these need to be Game Changing albums. never existed before and will continue to be the benchmark by which subsequent albums are judged. Like the first 5 Led Zeppelin's, Dr. Dre's The Chronic, Black Sabbath's self-titled, Aqualung, Metallica's Master of Puppets and The Beach Boy's Pet Sounds.
Now-my turn:
#1 There is no Philip Glass at any point in the list. Not one. Are you telling me Mr Dimery that the most important modern composer in our century is not something that needs to be heard AT ALL before you perish?
#2 Purple - Stone Temple Pilots. It should be noted that on your list, i need to hear four (4) Deep Purple Albums, but not the sonic masterpiece that is STP's second album? Four fucking Deep Purple albums in entirety before i die?!? Moreover, there is not a single STP album listed, where i would argue there is one definite (Purple) and another (Tiny Music from the Vatican Gift Shop) should also have serious consideration.
#3 Its called A Go Go and its by John Scofield. GLARING OMISSION. not only a must hear, but a must have for anyone. period. this album will bring peace to the middle east if used properly. has the potential to disarm nuclear timebombs with the amazing talent of the premiere jazz guitarist of the past 35 years backed by the revolutionary jazz-fusion trio of Medeski Martin and Wood? this album omitted from an "exhaustive" list of music discredits both the editor, their families and anyone who has ever loved them.
#4 There is no need to hear two (2) Dexy's Midnight Runner's albums. Come ON Eileen!! Where did you get this shit Mr. Dimery?
#5 Blacklisted - Neko Case
#6 All the 2000s work is a little bandwagony. Three from The White Stripes, but Get Behind Me Satan has hardly proved itself as classic, revolutionary nor game-changing. Several OutKast albums, but not any of them that mattered most to making them great; Want One and Want Two by Rufus Wainright, not Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk? Beck but only Sea Change and Guero? I guess if you haven't been paying attention to these artists for their whole career, you missed out on the things that made them great in the first place. The immediate popularity does not equate to long-term classic status.
For instance, i agree with Ms. Spears' ...One More Time being placed on the list. whether it is your cup of tea or not, it was a definite game changer. the pop world was NOT the same afterward and it DID become the measuring stick for subsequent work in that genre. It was not, however, a musical "masterpiece" in the sense that Sea Change is. But Sea Change was only a later career extension of Mellow Gold before it, which was much more original in its time.
#7 It is also worth mentioning, the little odds and ends additions for electronica and rap might as well have been left off. you could have just made a list of popular rock, r&b and pop music to hear before you die. but the slight nods to country and hip hop as a gesture of looking like you know what those genres have to offer...as if you scoured all music and what you came back with was 4 deep purples are as good as one dwight yoakam and "you aren't missing anything over there in those places so just keep thinking that it is all shit"...look, you just make it worse for yourself. when Brittney appears but the Dixie Chicks don't, its not a gesture...its favoritism.
#8 The Roots are one of 5 major influences in hip hop and rap today. That Illidelph Halflife does not appear...well, you should be ashamed. (See above comments for "fan-come-lately" albums)
#9 i don't know why i am numbering
#10 The self-titled debut N*E*R*D (no one ever really dies) absolutely DESTROYS Fly or Die. How could anyone include the later over the former? just really bad...
#11 Two Words: Deltron 3030. the first, best and most amazing hip hop concept album. sci-fi space travel hip hop aliens robots...del and dan the automator? Jesus man, its like you really have no clue for the past 20 years of this list.
#12 Push barman to open old wounds is by and far the best thing Belle and Sebastean have done. and at 2 discs, how can you pass it up?
#13 on and on and on and on....Slick Rick? Salt n Peppa?
and on...so i'm done with this. i should make my own fricking list if i'm so pissed off. maybe i will--and do 101 instead of trying to bite off more than i can eshew eh Bob?
or 11...
20081109
Real World Brooklyn Blows
So we went to one of our favorite beer halls last night, and wouldn't you know, but the Real World Brooklyn was there with full lights camera and sound man looking stupid and "talking" by themselves at a table. (you know, trying to act casual even though they are the only ones lit up by a portable stage-light?) No one paid them much mind except for saying "douchebag" to themselves or maybe the others.
Then all of a sudden, two of these Real World fucktards get up in each other's faces and start fighting...Pushes around; someone loses their glasses, bystanders are pushed and shoved, yelling, a barrel of beer is overturned, etc. etc. If they were unwelcome before, they were loathed now. They then were 'booed' and verbally assaulted by the peaceable crowd, skipped out on the beer wench and the MTV director refused to pay the bill. Why were they there in the first place? Who would let these swine into a fine establishment? And who still will ever let MTV film in their place again? With acts like this its no wonder that no one wants these fucks around in our bars, restaurants, neighborhoods, country, planet etc, etc.
Is it too much to ask? A beer stein the size of an infant full of delicious brew and jovial atmosphere? No, television has to get involved, at everyone else's expense. And worse, it gives this place a black-eye on national TV. A "beer-hall" full of sailors and hot-heads where shit like this is acceptable.
Besides, the fight was so pansy-ass. If they try starting something like that in a worse part of Brooklyn, they had better fear for their lives (and not just the "actors" but the crew too).
People here don't fuck around, and you shouldn't either MTV.
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